Raising an Introverted Child

“One of the best things you can do for an introverted child is to work with him on his reaction to novelty. Remember that introverts react not only to new people, but also to new places and events. So don’t mistake your child’s caution in new situations for inability to relate to others.” pg.248p¹

The key is to expose your child gradually to new situations and people, while letting your kid know that its natural to feel anxious and there is nothing to be afraid of.

Stick around in the background with a gentle supporting hand on the back for as long as your child seems to benefit from your presence.

• Reward or admire their efforts to take social risks.
• Acknowledge their fears while encouraging them to take small steps.

As Dr. Kenneth Rubin, the director of the Center for Children, Relationships and Culture at the University of Maryland, writes, “If you’re consistent in helping your young child learn to regulate his or her emotions and behaviors in soothing and supportive ways, something rathr magical will begin to happen: in time, you might watch your daughter seem to be silently reassuring herself… He or she is learning to self-regulate fearfulness and wariness.” pg.249

Don’t force your introverted child to socialize if they don’t click with a particular kid or their peers. You want most of their early social experiences to be positive. As communications professor James McCroskey noted, “Forcing highly apprehensive young people to perform orally is harmful. It will increase apprehension and reduce self-esteem.”

Arrange your child to enter social situations as gradually as possible. For instance, having a talk with your child in advance what the party would be like would help him rehearse his or her greatings, and also going in the party early with be much easier for them as it would feel like they are joining him or her company than breaking into a preexisting groups.

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